Passions du Jour ~ Dreams. Passions. Purposes.

Life Purpose Question 4

Why Do Others Seek You Out?

What need do you meet for those around you? What are you recommended to others for? ("You need a quick recipe for Scottish Shortbread? You must talk to Mary--she has all the best recipes because she is the most talented entertainer...")

Whether you believe it or not, you are the Go-To Girl for certain things! People go to you to solve problems or to meet a need that they wouldn't think to bring to anyone else. Ask yourself why these individual groups below seek you out:

• Family
• Friends
• Colleagues
• Church
• Kids' school
• Neighbours
• Anyone else

It will very likely be a variation of the same theme. Your family may come to you for your diplomatic family crisis-solving skills. Your friends may want your objective opinion when faced with tough choices. Your colleagues turn to you for conflict management in the office. Your church may ask you to be on the executive board for your quick and fair decision-making abilities.

Recognizing the ways you naturally function in service to those around you is a huge clue in your Life Purpose Discovery process. I had a client who saw that people came to her for encouragement, inspiration and leadership--three themes that kept appearing as she answered this question for each of the groups above. It was a powerful confirmation that she was headed in the right direction to encourage and inspire leaders as a writer and speaker!

So, how about it, Go-To Girl? What have you discovered about your uniqueness from today's exercise? Leave a comment--we would all love to know!

Life Purpose Question 3

What Do Others Say About You?

About ten years ago I was living in Los Angeles, pursuing an acting career (among other things!) and two things were recommended to me by much older and wiser actors: First, stop telling my age (I was barely 20). Second, run, don't walk, to a Business for Actors/Image Design-type workshop. I did both.

The workshop was fascinating. A huge part of it was understanding first impressions--how in the first 10 seconds, before you even open your mouth, people have subconsciously identified things about you. Rightly or wrongly, according to the workshop teacher, people have made their minds up. I have vivid memories of completing one of the workshop assignments among the passengers at Burbank Airport. My class partner would hand a sheet of paper containing about 100 adjectives to people in the departure lounge, give them about a minute to look at me silently standing to one side and then instructed them to check off as many words as they felt described who I am. The crazy thing is that over and over strangers were checking off the same things about me and they were pretty accurate!

Now I'm not suggesting you do this exercise in your local airport (although it might be a fun, interesting day out!). But why not ask your friends, colleagues and family to anonymously describe you in a word--or five words--or ten words. Alternatively, I have created a list with words to choose from which includes anything from character descriptions like: humble, proud, welcoming, genuine, shy; to abilities like: works well with their hands, able communicator, problem solver. Again and again I have no doubt that you will find yourself being affirmed for the same traits and abilities and possibly find a few things you may want to work on!

Ready to add another piece to the puzzle on your Life Purpose Discovery? Get in touch here to request your free Impressions Inventory to use with friends, colleagues and family (and strangers!?). And let me know if I can help you discern how the results fit into your unique life purpose.

Life Purpose Question 2

What is Your Mission Statement?

A personal Mission Statement or Purpose Statement is not just for corporations and is a fantastic clarifying tool. It's the great WHO, WHAT, HOW and WHY of your goals and dreams and not only solidifies your mission for yourself, but it helps you to succinctly describe to others what you do and where your passions lie.

A simple way to create a Mission/Purpose Statement is to use this easy formula:

• I (a verb or two) (whom--people, a group, etc)
• by or through (continuous verb or verbs)
• so that (the why)

Some examples:

• I comfort and encourage new mothers by meeting with them one on one so that they can find hope during the difficult first months.
• I inspire Christian leaders through my daily radio broadcast and by writing books so that they will represent Jesus well in the marketplace.

The beauty of these Statements is that they can be reflective of what you currently do, or what you aspire to. If you're that Comforter of New Mothers above, you may not be meeting one on one with them yet, but it might be a dream and a longing in your heart. (Cementing your personal Mission/Purpose Statement makes it real to you!)These Statements are also fluid. It may take several tries and a little massaging to get the Statement that feels just right. They can also change over time. Just remember that a work in progress is still progress!

Once you start creating your Statement, you might want to have one for career, ministry, family, etc. It will give you a powerful reminder and sense of purpose, no matter what you do.

Not sure of your personal WHO, WHAT, HOW or WHY? I'd love to help you discover it! Click here to email me because:

I come alongside Christian women through coaching and writing so that they can discover their dreams and passionately live out the unique purposes God has for their lives!

Life Purpose Question 1

Note: I cannot recommend highly enough that you have a journal or diary handy to jot your answers down to the questions posed in this and subsequent posts. You will be amazed at the wealth of information you will have collected!

What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?

Now before you freak out and think that I'm introducing our Life Purpose Exploration on a very morbid note--remember those old Tombstone Pizza commercials? If you either a) don't remember, or b) are not of the American persuasion, check out these ads on YouTube and you'll see what I mean:

Firing Squad

Mobster

So what DO you want on your tombstone? Consider the unique life contribution that you hope to make, the legacy you want to leave, how you want to be remembered. Let's start at the end and work backwards. Imagine you are eavesdropping on friends and loved ones at your funeral. What are they saying about the way you've affected their lives, your community, your industry?

Something my clients hear over and over from me is Write it down! It really cements your visions and action steps. So to you, too, dear reader, do I suggest ways to engage the mighty power of pen:

• Write the snippets of imagined conversation at your memorial service.
• Write your own obituary.
• Write a catchy phrase that sums up your life and will fit nicely on a marble headstone. (How about "Susan Smith. She Rocked My World!") Ha!

With this view in mind, you can begin to develop a plan to live passionately and purposefully. And you will say, like Paul in 2 Tim 4:6, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

I would love to hear about the race you're running! Get in touch if you'd like more information about how I can come alongside you as you discover and live out your unique life purpose.

Here lies Melissa Williams - Pineapple with Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Sauce. ; P

Encouragement from a Stranger

You just never know who you're sitting next to.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was riding the train home from church, minding my own business. OK, let's be honest, I wasn't minding my own business. How could I when I was acutely aware of the man next to me looking over my shoulder trying to get a glimpse of the book I was reading-- The Christian's Career Journey by Susan Britton Whitcomb. Whenever I'm reading a book that has a Christian theme and I notice that the person next to me is trying to read over my shoulder, I turn my book ever so slightly, affording them a better view. I guess I'm a bit of a Sneaky Evangelist!

Well, at his stop, he got up, turned to me, touched me on the shoulder and warmly said, "Excuse me. May God continue to bless you abundantly through Jesus Christ." Then he jumped off and was gone! While he was speaking I was so flustered I just kept saying, "Thank you!" And then I got all misty. I turned back to my book but couldn't see it for the tears. Being the analytical girl that I am, I checked in with myself to find out why that had brought about such a reaction. 

In the rush of my extremely busy to-ing and fro-ing, what he said stopped me in my tracks. It was a seemingly simple blessing, but this "kindness from a stranger" to speak an encouraging word to someone he would never see again really touched me.  This stranger took the time and had the love to step out of his personal world into mine. Literally five seconds made an impact on me even several weeks later!

This really proves that we never know the affect our encouraging words, or even a warm smile, have on others.  I'll bet you can think of a time when someone came to you and told you how much something you said to him or her meant so much to them--and you don't even remember saying it! Or if you do, you had no idea of it ever being so cherished. This really puts things in perspective.

Calling all Sneaky Encouragers! Here's your mission: love someone with your words today. Give a compliment to the person checking out your groceries. Sincerely thank the bus driver. Send a text to let a friend know you're thinking of her. You never know just how much they might need the encouragement!

. . . SO--did you do it? Leave a comment and let us know how it went!

What Do You Do Exactly?

Why a coach is the missing player on your team.

A few days ago, I was speaking with a friend on the phone--discussing what we're up to and I mentioned a few of the things I'm doing with "the business." She said, "Oh! Is that the one where you encourage people on their careers and stuff?" I had a giggle. Uh-huh. Yep, that's the one.

When you boil it down, though, at its essence, that's a huge part of what a coach does. Encourage. Now I can hear some of you, dear readers, saying--Big Deal! I have friends or family or a partner who encourage me. Why would I need you?

To that I would say--Great! It's very important to have a network of caring and supportive people in your life and on your team. They love you--of course they want to hear about your plans--and they may say to you, "Cool! Go for it!" But what then? Where do you actually go from there? It is fantastic to feel the warmth of approval and support, but what else do you come away with that's concrete? Ask yourself these important questions and you may find there's a vital team member missing:

• Are your friends/family/partner totally unbiased and objective as they help you clarify your dreams and plans?
• Do their intuitive listening skills transcend the words you say to hear what you might not be saying?
• Will they ask you the hard questions--challenging you to dream bigger?
• Are they committed to helping you identify what's standing in the way of your dreams and actually outline a plan to overcome those things?
• Will they work with you to develop action steps and set goals to achieve what you might not have been convinced could be possible?
• Are your conversations focused 100% on you and your success?

When you partner with the right coach, you will be able to answer YES to each one of those questions. Wander over to the Passions du Jour website and discover the ways I would love to be of service to you. Oh, and I can even "encourage you on your career and stuff" too! ; )

Do Something NEW Today!

To be where you've never been, you have to do what you've never done.

Seems elementary, my dear Watson! For if I dream of being a piano player, yet I can't read music, it will require that I take lessons and practice--something I may never have done. If I imagine myself on a stage, speaking to thousands, yet I have never spoken in front of more than ten, well, I guess I'd better call Toastmasters! And so it is with everything in life and for everyone--from the baby who aspires to walk to the budding mountain climber. No one can escape getting out of their comfort zones and doing something new if they want to attain their goals.

This is a perfect example. I wanted to have a blog, but I'd never set one up or even posted on one before! Yet, here I am, doing something I've never done before. And I hope that I can encourage you, too, dear reader, to try something new today!

There is a world of possibilities out there! What will you do first? Leave a comment--I would love to know!